unfair

why is it, that anytime you leave without an explanation, i'm expected to just sit in my thoughts? when i thought we could work on it, i thought we could work through it. but you can just pick up and leave whenever you want to. because for some reason, you think you can better yourself alone, and that it's more important than bettering our relationship. and i'm expected to sit in silence, with no clue where your head is ever. the repost digs at me, thinking i can't see them. the constant blocking and unblocking. this isn't fair to me, thinking there could be a chance that you came back, but knowing i'm not allowed to do anything because it's "cheating." it's not fair. you expect my commitment, and you have it. but you can just leave whenever you want because you know i'd welcome you back. but at the same time you hold me to a higher standard than you hold yourself. i say i want to be done, knowing i never will be. i tell my friends im done, they know im lying. i just don't know what to do anymore, nothing is ever enough. somehow im still triggering, because we could be having a conversation and out of the blue im blocked. please come back healed next time because ive been broken enough.